Paranoid.

I know my gal love me a lot. I know she treat me well. But just sometimes I don't feel that I'm her bf. like the time at sunway pyramid. I cant even hold her hands nor touch and hug her. I cant even kiss her. When she saw her friend. She can walk faster than me just to faster see her friend. She can toss me to her sis and go to her friend side. She can disappear with her friend without telling me where she go. She can keep chatting to her friend and I'm standing aside like some stranger. Although she said she treat her friend as a "she" but cant deny the fact that her friend has a "banana" attached to him. Gd friend but don't have to stick so close right. Just so weird. Now the most epic thing is that she block me from fb which mean i no longer in her fb friend list. Fml. She dont want to expose us out because she scare people bad mouth her but already cant expose out i already fking sad and now i not on her friend list which double the sadness. Recently we played maple together and you know what? Even in maple she also don't want to expose us out. Triple the sadness. Am i such a lousy bf that even in the game she also don't want to expose? Im glad that i can spend 5days with her and during the last day was really happy cause at least i can hold her hands a bit touch her a bit and get to oct her before i leave. Very very very very happy :).
But still try to be in my shoe, try and taste my sadness. Its bitter than any medicine out there and the happiness is sweeter than any syrup out there in the world. How i hope we can let everybody know that we are couple. We can be a weird couple but at least not a hiding couple. My current greatest wish is we can expose out. Don't know when will it came true.