Regretted

I had this bad feeling that i n her gonna to break soon.
I hope this feeling is just that i think too much.
Hope this wont come true.
But for now we are still together.
I promised her on keeping this blog.
So i cant change the blog link or del it.
And i lazy to create another blog.

The way we think things is different.
Although we have common likes.
I dun wan to argue with her anymore.
I alr tired of arguing alr.
I wan to sweet with her for a change.
But guess I might not have the chance.
I really dun noe wad to do right now.
She own-self nvr notice it.
But seriously whenever she finish talking to her ex.
If got angry from chatting with him.
I'll be doom too.
She just don't realize it.
I know she love me alot.
Cause i just did sth she hated it alot.
Ya she was very angry.
But she willing to forgive me.
I really love her alot.
Is like more than 100% of love.
Sounds weird uh.
But its the truth.
I can love her until my mind is filled with her.
I can everyday dream of her.
tho i told her i nvr dream of her.(my skin quite thin, shy to say)
Sometime i still very shy, and i try to act as nth happen.
Stupid right.
I mean so alr still shy.lol.
Back to topic.
I love her fking lots.
after i met her and cfm my feelings for her.
I started to lose my smile.
I started to cry alots.
Like a crybaby.
I very long nvr cry alr, till i being with her.
I cry for missing her badly.
I cry for how much i wan her so much.
I cry for why i being so useless.
I cry for cant be by her side when she needs it.
I cry after arguing with her.cause she will ignore me :(
I cry when i feel she dun love me alr.
I cry when she kept using opp words.
I cry whenever i think that we going to break up.
I cry when i dun noe how to talk her anymore.
I cry whenever i c her in skype.
In fact Im now skyping with her right now while typing this "draft blog"
I cry cry cry likeaboss.
So old alr cry for wad. Useless ASS.
But its not within my control.
I seriously dun noe how to control my emotion.
I will show my anger when im angry or fed up.
I will cry when im sad.
I will smile when im happy.
Thats me. Im a straightforward guy. Thats y i might hurt ppl without knowing.
But at least i dun put on a poker face right.
Whenever skyping with her.
I wish i have some kind of super, so that i can touch her over the screen.
Or maybe teleport to her.

I now breaking up this relationship is going to be my biggest lost in life.
I will nvr get the same feeling from her on other gals.
Different gals gave different feelings.
But the problem is I love this feeling of her.
I felt super comfortable whenever im with her in rl.
I like her to be by my side forever.
I want her to be my wife as i know she will treat my kids damn nice, which i will also treat my kids damn nice also.
We both love kids.
I wish 10yrs later on her 28th birthday, she will accept my propose.
Provided we are together at that time or she still single and we r still in contact.
Im a guy dun really know how to show out his feelings.
Im sort of a cold blooded guy.
When im happy i can happily talk to other ppl with a nice tone.
But when im not, i will be as cold as ice.
I hope everything will be fine and we will be staying together.
I dun wan to be far apart from her anymore.
I will do whatever it takes to make her stick to my side.
Ask me go jump of buildings?Nahx. i wont.
Cause if i jump, i will be dead by then.
Then how can i be by her side?
stick to her as a spirit?
No way. I wan to be physically able to touch her, hold her hands, hug her, etc.
I dun care is first relationship or wad.
I find it is my REAL LOVE.
I will hold it very tight.
I wont let go so easily.
Hope she dun find me a nuisance.
I love the way she is.
without makeup of cause.
In fact i find her prettier without makeup.
After markup is pretty but just feel weird.
I love her lips alot.
Nice to kiss n oct.
I love her waist also.
And of cause i Love her everything.